The last two weeks has been a major challenge. My head is still spinning from all the changes and working on balancing what is needed, what is wanted and the demand from outside forces ever changing. I am definitely getting better at controlling my reactions … Continue reading On a Journey: testing the intentions
March has definitely taken me on a journey. I started this month with an idea to explore, a goal to achieve and a dream to follow. They all were possible but I didn’t have a true plan, very much unlike me and my logical what … Continue reading Sister on a journey – the next step
So many changes. My brain feels like it is on over drive trying to keep up. Thankful Mercury comes out of retrograde this morning so maybe I can start truly getting a grasp on everything life has thrown at me these last two weeks.
It is not that I didn’t want these changes, I just did not expect them to manifest this quickly! I was envisioning it all happening in June, I guess the universe said nope it’s happening now. It’s happening so fast I am starting to doubt the process and myself. This doubt could ruin everything, so I really need to ground and let it go with trust it is all for the best. Trust my own power and self.
What is it I am trusting? Well last week I was offered a job, yeah I know you are not supposed to change careers during mercury retrograde, but this was more a promotion for a company I was already working for and something just about everyone who worked for the company wanted as the person who previously held the position did not give everyone the warm fuzzy feeling of accomplishment. But this story is not about them . . .
As the position is full time and will allow me more time with my kids and is doing something I love, I accepted. This also means I gave my 2 weeks notice to one of my jobs that was basically paying my mortgage, do you hear the fear? I am leaving a known for the unknown and that is scaring the bejeezus out of me, but I know it is in line with where I want to go in my life. It is not my final destination but path to get there. I need to trust the universe knows my goal and is guiding me in the right direction.
I know my past relationships with people and money are the doubt that is holding me back. This week is supposed to have a few warm days, I am definitely going to be grounding myself and getting rid of this doubt. Doubt is the dream killer. My goal is to become the dream builder. More on that to come!
I know this seems a bit vague but I do not want to put to much out there yet, that does not mean I will not, now is just not the time.
This month is a whirlwind of activity, giving in like a lion an entire new meaning. The wind is blowing widely and stirring up the ick. Thankfully the wind is blowing the ick out and making room for the good to grow.
In January I did a card spread for my year ahead. Whenever I do a spread, I know it can change and I do not necessarily know what the card truly means until it has happened. So far the first three cards seem to really be on point. March’s card represented hard-work rewarded and hobbies. Know it seems random but it is completely on point.
Anyone who knows me in real life knows I work a lot. Like way more then a human should probably work. Most weekdays go along these lines:
3:30 am wake up and catch up on paperwork, the day ahead and a little me time
4:30 am start getting ready for works
5:30 am go to the gym for 20 min of cardio
6:00 AM at work cleaning a home
10:00 am head to another home to clean
1:30 pm head into Children’s fitness program
6:30 pm/7:00 pm head home with my 2 littles for dinner
8 pm have both kids to bed and clean up the dinner mess
9pm make noted for tomorrow and try to be in bed before 10pm.
Yup that is about an 18 hour day Monday – Friday for the last 3 months. What did that net me, a new full time job and a clear vision on my dream of helping others. Will I still work long days, yes. Will they be more in line with the direction I want to go in, absolutely. Bringing my passion to life as a way of living is just magic.
Most people think of hobbies as something that is fun and relaxing, mine are a bit more complicated. Though they bring me peace and happiness as well as a sense of satisfaction, others would see it as a type of work. That is ok, my dream, my passion, my reward and I am incrediably grateful for it!
Have you ever had that feeling there is so much information swirling around in your head that it is to much to process and you know something really important is being missed because of it?
That is me. Right now. In this moment.
I guess that is what I get for doing an abundance spell without a true and clear thought on how to get there. There are so many options for me right now that I am unsure which to pick. That in part is also my confidence, or lack of it showing again. Maybe it is I am just so tired from working all said opportunities and it is time to focus on one at a time. I know change is coming, I welcome it, but need to get a hold of the direction.
Just within the last few days so much has happened. I took the next steps in building my dream of being able to help others in a way that aligns with nature and energy flow. I took a stand for self and began trimming down my commitments that have been taking me away from my path. Guess you could say it was a challenge of sorts.
With Ostara next week and it being a time for new beginnings , renewal and creativity. It is a time of letting go of habits that are holding back and plant the seeds for the habits and year to come. Mother Earth is awakening and growing stronger every day. The sun shines more and more bring forth it’s life giving energy. Now is a time to pick what that energy is going into.
For me, my energy needs to go into growing me and creating the best life I can for my kids. For a long time I and my family have been in a waiting place, a place where nothing was quiet right and everything held a cloud of doubt and worry. My focus is now bringing us to a place of happiness and confidence. My energy goes to growth of these seeds. Weeds are not happening in my garden this year.
I know a weed is a plant growing were we don’t want them, but it the weeds that tend to take away our focus from the others. The draw our energy. they frustrate and distract. This yer they are not welcome. I have a plan and I am sticking to it.
This week is all about intentions. Setting achievable goals that also lead to the next steps in life building a happier more satisfying life.
I was scrolling through Facebook as most people do and came across a post in a group I belong to” Does anyone want to join a journaling accountability group?” Having just finished my last post and seeing I am lucky to get maybe 6 posts in a year I thought, maybe this is what I need and typed “I am in!”
Now the topic is set and I am staring my first entry, and this one is a dozy! We were given “What is your path? What do you consider yourself? Have you begun your own BOS?”
These are some pretty deep topics to start with but if I am going to do it, it is a great place to start!
What is my path? This is a question I have been asking myself for a long time. As I shared before I lost myself in others a long time ago, and thinking back spent most of my life being what I thought others wanted me to be. I was a chameleon, changing my colors to fit my environment, but never truly me. I am working on finding myself. She is showing signs of emerging from her chrysalis but hasn’t fully emerged yet. My path has been meandering, and at times forlorn, and a very steep battle.
This is what I know. Respecting nature and working with plants is my connection to spirit and inner-self awareness. My calling is helping. I am compelled to help people it’s almost a sickness. Whenever someone comes to me with a woe or some dilemma they are facing my mind immediately starts assessing how to help or help them find their way. I guess some would say that makes me a healer.
What do I consider myself? First and foremost I am a human being which is followed very closely with I am a mom. These are two things that will never change. My path is the way of the Green Witch, I am not a Wiccan. To me that is a religious choice but not my path. For me religion is very personal and cannot be bundled together, it is a personal experience like no one else’s experience. As already stated I am a healer of sorts. Recently started sharing with people how to make their own simple skin care products that work with items they already have or can grow in their gardens. I do read Tarot for people who feel a little lost and usually send them off with a maceration I made before they arrived (could even be a few weeks before depending on the mix). This year I am getting back into gardening. No more saying we do not have the money for it. The money is there, just appropriated to everyone else’s needs and wants, this year I am showing my family/kids my needs and wants count too. Plus, with growing our own fruits, vegetables and herbs I will be saving on the grocery bill too! (OK this is justifying, trying to fit the expectations again, yeah progress is slow but I am making it. It is only Mach 2nd!)
Before I answer the last question, I should clarify what BOS stands for. Depending on your walk in life, BOS can be an acronym for a few things; Boston Airport, Base Operating System, Barber of Seville (Opera), or Book of Shadows. Our BOS is Book of Shadows. Before I answer if I have started mine, what is a Book of Shadows? It really depends on your perspective, but in essence, it is like a cookbook. It is where recipies can be kept as well as traditions that can be handed down to future generations. Many keep spells and incantations used, or track the moon phases and Sabbat traditions. Think of it as your family cookbook and you pull out the old faded recipe you just about have memorized to make your Nan’s special dish for a holiday, a book of Shadows is just like that.
Do I have a book of Shadows? I do have one started. It is ever evolving and I will be transferring over to a three ring binder soon to make it more organized. As I grow and learn new things I want to add them in and my current composition book does not really allow me the freedom to interview and lay out the pages that make sense to my brain. A book of shadows, is also like a sacred diary. It it very connected to the person who makes it. If they share it with you, you are a very trusted person to them. Sorry internet, your not getting mine, but I may share some of my maceration recipes with you!